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    Curhat....my life....

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    Anero
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    Curhat....my life....

    Post  Anero on Fri Sep 11, 2009 1:21 pm

    Hi guys,

    lam kenal buat semua yah. wow g ga nyangka ternyata ada forum ini. ehm where do i start...

    i knew i'm gay all along since forever i guess. feeling being different is all i can remember for all my life.

    udah banyak hal yg gw laluin sampe sekarang dlm hal menghadapi diri gw as a gay. perasaan bingung, marah, kesal, frustasi, nyerah, kesepian yang akut all mixed up sudah pernah gw rasain. Puncaknya waktu gw sma disaat semua temen2 gw udah mulai puber dan nyari2 pacar....gw yg merasa gmn dgn gw....g hrs pacaran ama siapa ?? ama ce kah (dan berpura2 lagi, wearing another mask) ?? ama co kah ?? (just be who i was ....then again back then gw blom siap untuk hal itu.

    disaat gw yg labil itu, gw merasa g 'dipermainkan' oleh Tuhan. so many krn g questions g ga tau hrs lari ke siapa. G marah bgt sama Tuhan, sampe pernah keluar dr mulut gw : 'Tuhan gw akan nyembah setan, g ga mau jd anak lu, g ga mau ada hub sama sekali dgn U. Just leave me alone' .

    Anero
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    Join date : 11.09.09

    sambungan...

    Post  Anero on Fri Sep 11, 2009 1:39 pm

    G pd saat itu completely blinded dan ga tau gmn hrs melepas semua emosi en kekalutan jiwa gw. Puji Tuhan, He never leave me for whatever reasons, Dia ga pernah jauh dr gw. betapapun hancurnya keadaan gw saat itu, He was right there besides me, He knows how many tears i have shed, how many nights i cried myself to sleep. Gw dpt kesempatan untuk kuliah di negeri yg lumayan jauh...kincir angin...disana gw diproses untuk menjadi diri gw yg skrg....

    it took me almost 22 years to accept myself and not blaming anyone for it. even sampe sekarang pun im still in the process of accepting my own self. Tp satu yg gw sadari, semua butuh waktu. for all of you out there yg masih marah, frustasi, mungkin g ada sedikit saran based on my life. Never ever leave ur God, bahkan disaat kau merasa completely alone, sy percaya bahwa He's just right there opening His loving arm for u. karena ga ada yg tau betapa sedihnya ataupun luka nya jiwa kita selain Dia. He knows u more than u know ur self.

    Thank you, my Jesus...for never give up on me..for never letting me go. i can't even express my feeling for U in words o Lord.....

    for all i know.....I can't live without You......

      Waktu sekarang Fri Dec 09, 2016 12:20 pm